Showing posts with label fringe facebook twitter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fringe facebook twitter. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
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About Me
- skyline
- I can type over 215 words per minute. That may seem impressive, but I also have no sense of smell. I can't help but think the two are connected. I have a superfluous third nipple. It’s in a baby food jar in the fridge. It's not actually mine. I mean, I guess it’s mine now. I’m not sure whose it was, originally. It was stuck to the back of my coat one day when I got off the bus, and it just seemed wrong to throw it away. I have a gigantic head. Seriously, it’s like 53¼” in circumference. Seen straight on it doesn’t look that big, because it’s not your typical ovoid shape. Mine was a difficult delivery, and there was an “incident” with some forceps. So, while it looks pretty normal from the front, it tapers to a pretty severe "V" in the back. If I shaved it, I’d look kind of like the creature from Alien. My hair covers most of it, but I have a heck of a time wearing a hoodie. I am responsible for the disappearance of the bees. I swear I didn't mean any harm. That first one was just so darn tasty. I've had this account for 4 years, and still can't figure out how to make the "About Me" feature show block paragraphs. True story.